Mama Mondays | My Battle with Breastfeeding

Mama Mondays | My Battle with Breastfeeding 

Cyrine Jones

It might have been the before and pregnancy fog I was on, but I had the perfect idea as to how everything was going to play out when it came to having a baby. I had a perfect birth plan in my head- my water will break on my due date, have a vaginal delivery after 10 pushes max, two day stay in the hospital, breastfeed for the first year, and live life happily ever after.

            Enter December 12, 2013, eight days prior to his due date, I was sitting at my weekly doctor’s appointment when my OB informed me that my water broke the day before (flashing back to the day prior, I thought the little episode was just some sort of a more than the normal leaking). Anyway, fast forward to 36 hours later, it was love at first sight, as I held him for the very first time while I lay on the operating table. From then on and for at least the next few hours, I was on a definite and unexplainable high. All I wanted to do was to hold him, kiss him, snuggle with him, and make up for the nine months of what I felt then to be our “lost time”. I was in a fog of just pure bliss until my new responsibility as a mom came knocking in a form of a lady in scrubs. I remember our nurse coming in and informing me that it was time to feed the baby. At that time, I did not think there was a process to breastfeeding but I followed along with her instructions. Step 1: She took the baby from me, handed him to my husband. Step 2: propped a pillow for back support, another pillow to cradle my left arm, another to cradle my right arm, and a couple in front to elevate Deacon high enough to be in-line with my nipples. I was looking forward to being able to breastfeed, this was our first bonding experience, and would be our routine bonding time.

For the first few hours, my milk supply was okay but in order to stimulate more milk production, the nurse brought in a hospital grade breast pump ordering me to pump every 3-4 hours right after every feeding. Not even twenty-four hours into Deacon’s birth, when the lab results started rolling in, we were told he has jaundice; jaundice is pretty much the yellow discoloration of the baby’s skin and eyes, which in our case is more prevalent because of my Asian genes. So because of this diagnosis, they, as in the doctor/nurse, immediately recommended to start him on formula, to flush the jaundice out “quicker” in addition to the phototherapy he was ordered to be on.

Right away I got upset, upset at myself for already causing this to my newborn and upset that I am not able to fulfill my plan to strictly breastfeed him for the first year of his life, mere hours in to his birth. But as a new momma bear, I had to accept and welcome it wholeheartedly because I was/am willing to do whatever is needed to be done to ease any pain for my new baby. So in the five day stay in the hospital, we had established a feeding routine; have him latch-on on both breasts then my husband will feed him 2oz of formula while I pump for the next 15 minutes. The same routine continued at home for the first two weeks. We had to get on a timeline of when to breastfeed, when to pump, how to pump after breastfeeding all the while he was attached to the home phototherapy kit, which made it awkward to physically breastfeed him. Feeling as if I was limiting his breastfeeding time so he still had room to take the formula afterwards, I finally decided to strictly breastfeed him during the day, and do the breast milk/formula combo at night. The plan worked up until we were diagnosed with “thrush”, mostly likely caused by the antibiotics I was prescribed to take for having C-section. Physically, it was hell on my breasts. If I wasn’t feeling the pain when I had Deacon latched-on where every suck equaled to what I felt was a stabbing nerve pain, it was the unbearable itching with what I felt had no relief or remedy regardless of how hard I scratched. The worst part was because of the thrush, he also developed severe diaper rash. Because of this diagnosis, we were advised to not have him latch on to my breast until the thrush was fully gone from both of us. At this time, I had to strictly pump and feed him breast milk via bottle, which thankfully he was already fully transitioned to since he was also on formula since day 1. Not only was it physically stressful on my newborn baby and myself but it also became an emotional burden to be a new mommy and not be able to give your 2-week old infant what they need, ie breast milk, and that I felt like I have inflicted pain on them now too. The length of recovery took a couple weeks and we had to get used to yet another feeding routine. I kept up with the pumping schedule and would bottle-feed him straight breast milk during the day and continued on with the breast milk/formula combo at night. The decision left me feeling very guilty and already a failure at being a new mom but at the time, I thought it was the best thing for me and for my newborn, or so according to our doctor. The plan on going back to our breastfeeding routine prior to having thrush fell apart. I think it was the convenience of not having to worry about having him latch-on, feed, and then pump afterwards, which can be hectic every 3-4 hours all day everyday. In all honesty, I got lazy on the job, relied on strictly pumping, and the convenience of bottle feeding might have contributed to my milk supply only lasting for 3 months. I felt guilty and was always seeking affirmation from other mom friends that what I was doing was okay. I was not putting to use what my breasts are truly designed for, not only did I feel like I was a failure as a mom already, but also as a woman where I felt incompetent in something that was supposed to be natural. I mean, women for generations breastfeed their babies, so why can’t I accomplish the same?

I learned to accept the reality that breastfeeding the first 3 months was going to be just fine. I had to realize that other kids grow up not even having a drop of breast milk in their systems and they end up healthy and productive people in our society. I think that was the biggest worry on my part, that if I don’t breastfeed Deacon, he won’t get the proper nutrients he needed and end up having a weak immune system, that he would develop a number of illness as he grows up and or end up not making the honor roll in high school that will get him a full scholarship to college and be the success I want him to be (yes, that’s how my brain works, and I’m sure I am not alone on this wild imagination filled with worries that I had/have). To this day, I feel a twinge of jealousy every time I see a mom breastfeeding their babies well beyond 3 month old; I applaud them for being strong willed and sticking with it for however long it takes. Bright side for me is I can hopefully redeem myself with the next kid, and with the knowledge I have gained through this experience, I feel like I am more than ready to tackle breastfeeding next time and hopefully I can successfully persevere longer than 3 months.

-Cyrine

XOXO

I miss being pregnant....

Toward the end of being pregnant with C if someone would've told me that I was going to miss my big belly and having a little person pushing on my bladder and intestines I would've told them they were nuts. As much as I loved being pregnant it wasn't easy for me. 

I actually had a very difficult pregnancy in the beginning, and low laying placenta until my third trimester. It's funny how you don't always remember things the way that they were. I didn't sleep, I was extremely uncomfortable, and I had this horrible pain radiating around from my right rib all the way to my back. They even thought at one point something was wrong with my gallbladder. As I look back on my pregnancy with C all I think of are the amazing moments.  The very first moment I felt her move, the time I figured out that it was her butt up by my rib cage wiggling around. The times I felt her tiny hiccups in my belly, talking to her every night when I couldn't sleep and dreaming of holding her for the very first time. 

Now that she's going on 20 months and is closer to two then one I can't help but miss all those little moments, and think about how with the next once C gets to feel those little kicks from baby. No this isn't my way of telling you guys something, for all that I am sure are thinking it. I just miss that belly some days more then others. Some days I am super grateful to have a huge glass of wine and be able to go hours without peeing, and other days I miss the movement the tiny foot kicking me and all the bonding time you get in those nine months.

The thought it there and hopefully with the next one it's a little easier in the beginning, but I'll be grateful no matter what. Happy and Healthy! 

XOXO

Mama Mondays | Fitness for A Busy Mom

Mama Mondays | Fitness for A Busy Mom

My name is Dani and I am a wife to an amazing man, mommy to a very busy, fiery, red headed 18 month old little girl with another one on the way as well as a fitness/health enthusiast.  I studied Exercise Science and fitness in college while I played soccer, and when I graduated I went right to work in one of the top gyms in the country.  I have worked at Equinox, Newport Beach, for almost 8 years and have worked with every kind of client imaginable.  My favorite, however, are the pre and post natal, the mommies to be exact.  Probably because I myself am now a mommy.

Getting back into a fitness and healthy eating routine after baby doesn't have to seem like an unconquerable feat, it definitely is possible.  Honestly, its a lot easier than most people would make it sound.  Before I get started I need to express how important it is for you as a mom to get time for yourself.  It really is way too easy to get caught up the daily hustle and bustle of your kids and work and wifely duties to make time for yourself, but a happy healthy mom and wife makes for a happy and healthy home and family.  Also, remember there are tiny little eyeballs watching your every move, and if your littles are anything like my little Lilley they are copying everything you do too.  And what a fantastic thing for them to emulate, your love for a healthy lifestyle!  So here it is, my 5 tips for getting back into a healthy routine after baby...  

1. Make a schedule. Schedules work for babe, right?  So why aren't you on one too?  Now creating a schedule for yourself doesn't mean it has to be set in stone, make it flexible, make it work for your day to day.  I have seen it so many times... A new mom comes to me ready to get in shape after baby and says "I'm going to make it into the gym everyday this week!"  Don't get me wrong,  the enthusiasm is fantastic but the reality is that I would not be a good trainer if I didn't help set my clients up for success right off the bat.  How many days, realistically, can you make time to get to the gym, or barre class, or go for a run/walk outside?  Thats where you should start.  The only reason I say that is because the first day that is missed you more than likely will be disappointed in yourself and tell yourself you've failed.  I never want my clients to feel like they have failed.  When those few days have become easy, then start thinking about adding an extra day or two.

2.  Take it outside.  Yes!!  Taking the workout outside is not only healthy for you its stimulating for your little one.  Now, you don't have to get all "bootcamp crazy" in order to have a nice sweaty workout sesh outside, you can just grab some music and take a walk, you will be amazed at how motivating and refreshing it can be to just be outside.

3. Eating healthy is a MAJOR part.  I'm sure most of you ladies follow at least 2 or 3, or 4 or 5 (maybe more) people on Instagram or Twitter or FaceBook as a fitness inspiration.  Yes??  I do!  And between their multiple posts of ab selfies, squat videos, and healthy restaurant meals are their "weekly food prep" pictures.  And then they preach that if you don't weekly food prep you are setting yourself up for failure.  The truth is, you don't need to weekly food prep in order to be successful but you do need to have the healthy food and snacks already stocked at home.  When you do your weekly grocery store run, make sure you are armed with a list full of healthy and easy snack options like fresh fruit, veggies and nuts as well as lean protein and complex carbohydrates.  I love greek yogurt for a quick and easy breakfast or lunch, I also use it in smoothies!  I also buy cans of tuna that I will either throw on a bed of greens for a quick salad or mix with some mustard and avocado for a healthier version of tuna salad.  Nitrate free deli meat and some low fat cheese is an easy grab for a quick sandwich or wrap.  Those are just a couple easy peasy meal ideas that don't necessarily need to be prepped ahead of time.  I also try to have and idea what we are going to be making for dinner most nights of the week, if its something like chicken I will prepare extra to have during the week as well.  Not everything has to be prepped out a week in advance.

4.  YouTube and Pinterest your workouts!  You heard it hear, from the trainer, to watch workout videos.  Just do me a favor, and don't tell my colleagues I said that.  I happen to think there can be some great quick and easy workouts for all fitness levels.  And they so easily accessible!  If it happens to be a day that you have scheduled to workout but its looking like the gym might as well be on the moon, bust out the laptop and get down to business at home!  They can be as short or as long as you'd like.  Don't worry about the fact that it might not be as intense as it would have been if you were at the gym because, hey, you still did more than you would have if you skipped the workout all together right??  And you did something equally good for your self esteem, you kept a promise to yourself.  So dust off those old workout DVDs or, ahem, tapes and hit the 'search' button on some new YouTube channels and get to work!

5.  Get your family involved.  The family that lives a healthy lifestyle together stays happy and healthy together!  Ok, so maybe that sounds a little cheesy, but its so true!  Go to the park together and play baseball or soccer.  Have a weekly cooking night together.  Go for a family hike.  Take an exercise class together.  Whatever it is, do it together, as a family.  You can start early on, because the quicker you make it your natural routine the easier it is to maintain it, and as your kiddos grow it will always be a part of their routine.  What a great way to enjoy each other but create healthy habits as well!  
-Dani

XOXO

The Best That I Can...

I find myself uttering these words a lot lately lately. 

I love my daughter more than life itself but sometimes, not all the time, she has a hard time. 

This was not the post I planned on writing today but it sure feels therapeutic to get my thoughts out. 

You see the peanut is going though a very trying day, she testing her limits, she's frustrated that she can get her words out, she's frustrated she isn't quite there yet with things she wants to do physically, and to be honest she's driving me a little crazy. 

I try my absolute hardest to do everything I can in my power to stay patient and calm but sometimes she breaks me. I know she doesn't mean it, I mean after all the girl is only 20-months-old but it's been very difficult. I'm sure I'm not the only mommy out there who has these days. I'm sure we all have our moments. We all want to break down and cry, watch Netflix curled up on the couch with a cup of hot tea under a blanket and sleep forever, but that's not the hand we are dealt the second those little bundles of joy were placed in our arms. 

 I want her to know that no matter what I do try the best to stay calm and collected. Even during moments like today when she knocked the glass jar off the sink and glass and soap went everywhere. I constantly remind myself that she needs my patience and for me to not flip my lid in order for her to remain calm as well, although she does stay remarkably calm even when I use a firm voice.

 My lunch date attempting to escape today...

I have mentioned before about everything I need to do in order to keep myself a happy and pleasant parent, like self-care and the occasional break. But no matter how much I do those things sometimes I just get to a breaking point. Maybe it's the fact that I am with her most every day of the week or the fact that I try to rack my brain trying to think of activities and things for us to do together so that our days go smoother and she gets energy out, but I do find myself reaching my breaking point faster than other days. 

Hoping this little trip with just my husband and I will clear my mind and readjust everything so that when I come back I'm way more refreshed and pleasant mommy to be around. 

Until then I'm praying for patience and doing the best that I can. 

XOXO

Stitch Fix Review #3

Got my third box this week and they nailed it! Even though I only kept two pieces I was pretty pumped with this box and it totally got me in the mood for fall, now if only the weather out here would cooperate.

41Hawthorn | Queensland Dolman Jersey Top | Medium | $48 

This dolman top was one of my favorites, I wore it immediately as you can see by the wrinkles. Haha I washed it and forgot it in the dryer. I love how comfortable it is, and the color was not my first choice but I thought it looked good on me.

Market & Spruce | Corinna Striped Dolman Top | Medium |$48

This top is super fall and super comfortable. You all know I am a sucker for stripes. This top fit great and is a fabulous fall transition top.

Kut From The Kloth | Siena Cropped Pant | 6 | $58 

Fun3Fun | Julianna Back Cutout Top | Medium | $38

I loved these black pants and I was surprised by how much. They are more trouser style, which I usually don't love. I loved the length but the fit was a tad bit off. They were a bit snug in the hips which wasn't super flattering. This top I super loved and so badly wanted it to fit, it would have been perfect for our upcoming trip. Unfortunately it's way to short in the front. I don't like it when tops come up that short on me, it's very unflattering. So these went back.

Zad | Martin Mini Layered Metal Cuff | $28

This bracelet is cute just not my taste. I'm a little picky when it comes to jewelry. So this was also a no go.

All and all I love this box. I wish that green top was a little longer and I would have kept all the clothes, and it was fun to get a accessory this time. Till next time!

XOXO

Mama Mondays | Mommy Beauty Tips

Mama Mondays | Mommy Beauty Tips
Monika Zeldin 

Gosh, I remember that feeling of panic like it was yesterday, when I got my nails done for the first time since my son was born.  It took me three months before I had the courage (and trust in others) to leave Dorian for 30 minutes. I had the fastest mani/pedi of my life and it was probably the nail techs too! Now, looking back, I laugh at how unrealistic my expectations of myself was as a mother and how much pressure I put on everyone also to be perfect for  “baby D”. 

Being a stay-at-home mom, I waited at least eight months before I felt confident to leave my son long enough to get my hair done and even receive an eyebrow wax treatment after that!  Once it did happen though, and my son was perfectly fine upon getting home, I committed to taking time for myself. I noticed that once I started taking this “me” time to get a mani/pedi, hair treatment or facial, I started to relax not only as a mom but, as a person in general.  No one tells you that once you become a mom, you’re selfless nature can take you far away from yourself and leave you resentful and maybe even a little loony, if you let it get that far.  It is important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others.  It’s like the airplane analogy; “make sure you put on your mask before assisting others….”.  Whether you are a brand new mom or a seasoned pro, we are after all first and foremost, feminine beauties and taking care of our skin and hair is a MUST.  This doesn’t mean spending hours in the bathroom to prep every morning, (seriously, who has time for that?), it means making a habit of a few simple daily things to keeping ourselves hydrated, nourished, and looking good.  If you do get some time to give your skin and hair a little extra TLC, there are plenty of options out there for you to get it done in speedy fashion.  Remember, you put on the mask first, then….

5 Quick Beauty Tips for hardworking mamas:

1.     WASH your face every day and every night.  If you are a brand new mama, then clean your skin every night, at least. Don’t rush through your routine, take a little time. Luke warm water is your friend, not hot (causes dry skin) and not cold (tightens pores and hard to pull out impurities). Once a week, use an exfoliating brush on your face, it works wonders. (My favorite: Clarisonic Mia)

2.     APPLY a good serum on your face. Serums are lightweight and most are water-based, eliminating oils and petrolatum, which are common in moisturizers. Serums contain the most potent doses of anti-aging ingredients and truly help with cell rejuvenation and turnover. Plus, they work great on oily skin, which is a huge culprit of mommy hormone flare-ups. Bonus: Store your serums in the fridge to wake up your tired skin and tighten those pores! (My favorite: Luxu Hydrating Serum)

3.     DAB, dab, dab on the eye cream/gel. With the lack of sleep, our eyes are the ones that get hit the hardest (red eyes, dark circles, puffiness).  If you have a good eye treatment that can minimize these for you, then you’re coming out on top, even if you physically don’t feel like it. (My favorites: Rodan + Fields Multi-Function Eye Cream and Eve Lom Eye Cream)

4.     WEAR sunscreen! One of the things I am sure we all agree on is how much we treasure our long walks with our kiddos, especially when they are newborns. With that being said, sunscreen is your best friend. Even if it’s a ‘stay indoors’ kind of day, sunrays do seep through the window, so lather on that protection and save your beautiful face! (my favorite: Badger Unscented Sunscreen)

5.     BRUSH those beautiful locks. One of the most horrifying experiences is shedding copious amounts of hair after you give birth to your baby. Nice work Hormones. It is important, whether you shampoo frequently or not, to brush your hair at least once a day. I don’t always have time to do a good lather in the shower, but I always can take a minute to simulate my scalp with a good brushing.

When you have time to treat yourself a little extra, CUEHair Salon and Skin Care (Newport Beach, CA) offers the following services in under an hour.  It’s wise to invest in beauty maintenance.  When you look good, you feel good and that is a win all around.

CUE EXPRESS SERVICES

-       Deep Conditioning Hair Treatment

-       Express Shampoo/Blowout

-       Express Facial

-       Hand Rejuvenation

-       Sugar Wax Eye Brow / Lip Wax

-       Eyelash Strip Application

Monika Zeldin is co-owner of CUE Hair Salon and Skin Care in Newport Beach, CA. She handles all aspects of marketing and events.  Monika’s background is in Magazine Publishing, brand marketing and social media strategizing. She now splits her time between taking care of her 18-month old son, attending Pure Barre, pampering herself with facials and hair treatments and striving to make her full-service beauty salon a long-lasting success in Orange County, CA. www.cuehairandskincare.com

GO Check it out!!! 

XOXO

Gold Fall Decor

I am absolutely smitten with this time of year! It is truly one of my absolute favorites. But you see we currently live at the surface of the sun, so that crisp fall air, sweater loving, pumpkin spice weather I'm obsessed with I won't be seeing that till November. Until then I choose to deck my house out in all things fall and pumpkin smelling goodness so I can get my fix.

This year I decided to take some of my old fall decor items and have a little spray paint party. I was inspired but a project Steve and I did the other day with our dresser and my necklace stand.

 Dresser 

Necklace Stand We used the Dremel to take off the arrows and spray painted it gold | Mirrored Tray | Bracelet Holder from Target similar here | Ring Holder from Target similar here| Tory Perfume | Burberry Perfume 

Super cute right? Everyone needs a little gold in their life.

With gold spray paint in hand I decided to take this....

 I had the bowl full with pumpkin vase filler that bought at home goods years ago similar here 

I decided to half the amount of pumpkins for the gold incase I hated it. So I only planned to use this many. 

To this!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE how they turned out super easy too. I decided to mix in some white ones as well. What a fun change! I am so happy I did this! Makes for a different modern look! I also need to clean that bowl..bad. 

I liked it so much I spray painted the leaves for this vase as well. So cute. 

Enjoy the fall weather if you have it and if you can send some my way, I'll love you forever.

XOXO